Get Rid of "Should"

Mental Tip

Get Rid of “Should”

Hey gang! This week’s edition is a little different. I typically break down professional tennis news and tactics, but today’s main article aims to help you more directly with your own game. If you like it, let me know and I’ll try to sprinkle more of these in!

Want to win more often?

Get “should” out of your vocabulary.

“I should have made that volley at 40-30. I would have won that game, and we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“I’m ranked higher than her, so I should win”

“I should be playing better”

These phrases are universal — I hear them from USTA 2.5 women in their 60s recounting their league match, high level juniors when they’re looking at the tournament draw, and the everyday 3.0-3.5 clinic regulars.

Every time I hear should, I squirm.

Because those thoughts are preventing you from doing the single most important thing you can to win: buy two new rackets focus on the point you’re about to play.

That’s your one job as a tennis player. And it’s the only thing you can control on the court.

You’ve probably heard that already at nauseum. But it’s both true and extremely hard to do over a 90+ minute match where you might play over 100 points.

I like the way Federer and Djokovic put it:

Let’s dig into Djokovic’s quote — there’s a lot of wisdom in it.

First off, he tells us that he has negative thoughts on court too. He’s one of us!

So I’m not saying you need to figure out how to shut off your brain. Negative (including angry, nervous, should’ve, would’ve, etc.) thoughts will always come up.

But one necessary skill to win more matches is the ability to avoid what many coaches call a hangover in tennis: getting pissed after losing a point, losing your focus, and then losing the next couple points.

That tiny, two minute hangover could be the difference between a post match celebration beer or a silent, seething car ride home.

But, as we know, the thoughts will always come up. So what do we do? In Novak’s words: acknowledge them.

This is the hardest part. I think many of us understand what Novak is saying in theory, but don’t actually know what to do when we’re on court in the heat of competition. So I want to give a practical example of how you might do this the next time you play.

The first step is to try and be aware that this mental loop (lose point ➡️ get frustrated ➡️ hangover) exists.

Before you go play, you could say to yourself, “You know what, I’m probably going to get frustrated at some point in the next hour. It’s going to happen. But let me see if I can catch myself when I do.”

You can treat it like a little challenge for yourself. When you inevitably get frustrated, try to just notice it. Your body might tense up. You might grimace or sigh. You might think pickleball is cool. Just try to notice it.

Then come back to the moment.

This is where having a pre-point routine is particularly helpful. Personally, I try to take a big, deep breath to collect myself. I might talk to myself and say, “C’mon, next point.” And I typically bounce my feet a couple of times to further eliminate the negative energy, and signal to my body that I’m ready for the next point.

That’s what works for me — and I have no doubt that it has helped me win countless matches where my opponent was probably the better player, but had a few more hangovers than I did that day.

Of course, everyone needs to work on their forehands, serves, overheads, etc. But I can’t recommend enough working on this skill too. If you can bring your focus to 95% percent of points instead of 87, you won’t be the one in the parking lot asking yourself, “how the hell did I lose to them?” as often.

You’ll already be at the bar, enjoying the refreshing, hoppy taste of victory.

Just be careful, or you’ll have the other kind of hangover.

Trivia

One of these former World No. 1s never lifted the ATP World Tour Finals trophy. Who was it?

A. Rafael Nadal

B. Pete Sampras

C. Lleyton Hewitt

D. Boris Becker

Find out at the bottom!

Book Recommendation

Lucky Loser

Looking for an easy, fun read during the holidays? Or a gift for your doubles partner? Check out Lucky Loser! Here’s the two cents:

“From a host of The Daily Show and stand-up comic, Michael Kosta, comes a wildly funny and insightful memoir about his unlikely journey from professional tennis player (#864 in the world) to professional comedian (there’s no ranking system in comedy but he’s probably . . . top 50?).”

Plus, it’s on mega sale right now because of Black Friday.

Note: I’m not affiliated with Michael or the book in any way. I genuinely enjoyed the book!

Around the Net

Some of the best tennis content I found on the internet this week…

📹️ Miss grand slam tennis? Me too. Get hyped about the 2026 Australian Open with one of the great AO classics, Safin vs. Federer in the ‘05 semifinals.

😂 The best reenactment of Wii Tennis I’ve ever seen

🕰️ POV: When you don’t know when to stop your hitting session. So true.

Gratitude

If you’re reading this, please know that I am seriously grateful that you give me a couple minutes of your precious time each week. This community has been such a bright spot for me this year, and makes me feel alive and connected in the world. Happy Thanksgiving! 🫶 

Answer

A. Rafael Nadal

While Rafa won a whopping 92 tour titles, the ATP finals always eluded him. Indoor hardcourt was never his best surface, and his body was likely super beat up at the end of the year.